Friday 17 April 2009

Sparks

“Pathetic. Incredibly stupid. That’s what I think it is. This is incredibly pathetic. All of you are stupid, daft, nonsense. Idiots. A bunch of rotten pigs you are. I haven’t met a gathering of idiots in this school as rotten as you. The whole bunch of you is sickeningly rotten. None of you even try to study do you? Only one kid, Amit, here seems to be trying to study. He is the only one who gives me hope in this class. Rest of you are useless fools.”

The teacher paused taking in a breath before beginning to lambast the students below average performance once again. I sat as usual in the second bench in the middle row. My head hung low in acknowledgment of all the attention I had garnered. Being in the middle of the class ranks had been just perfect for me, this sudden rise to stardom left me speechless and feeling awkward. Life of obscurity, the absence of attention, had been my goal but this term everyone seemed to have failed miserably. Embarrassment overflew from me, as did the promise to never top again. As I came out of the mist of these emotions that I noticed the girls in the first two benches of the row left of me . There was she, the beauty that glittered in this winter morning. Ah, how many days I have wasted staring at her knowing very well that the looks will never be reciprocated. I know such things look daft, but alas love is kind of stupid. Being a nobody, had not helped either. Now as I looked at her I noticed her staring back and she was giggling pointing in my direction and from that corner I heard the word ‘Blush’. I had been blushing, I assure you, I didn’t know it though. This nightmare of displaying my emotions left me further embarrassed and perplexed. But as with any other day, the class ended and the gathering of idiots broke up for the recess. As I sat with my usual group of friends I noticed her still staring at me and whispering something to the girl next to her. I was sure they were talking about the blushing incident. And that sadly embarrassed me even more. I did what any other normal human would do; I stood up and just went away aghast that this moment when at last she noticed me would be so disappointing, so crushing.

The last class was games or P.T. period. The boys played cricket while the girls played basketball just next to the cricket ground. Batsman had hit the ball high. I ran under the ball to catch it and was just about to dive when I slipped into a puddle of mud and the ball fell right on me. Everyone laughed and she in that corner, in her heinous voice, laughed out the loudest I am sure. The wretchedness of the moment was too much to bear. All along the second half of the class day, I knew positively that she had been laughing at me, giggling like the stupid bitch she was. Making comments about me, the blush .To think I had been begging for attention from such a girl exasperated me. At that precise moment I knew I had to make her pay for it. The vengeance would be mine. I wanted to pick up the bat. I wanted to walk to her in utter silence. And when the distance was just right, hit her straight on the face with the wide side of the bat. As she fell, to knock her in the abdomen with the thinner edge of the bat. Then to continue smashing her face with the narrow handle of the bat. I wanted to hit her face as if it was golf ball. To stomp on that evil face, to leave her face battered beyond recognition. To go on thrashing the shamefaced bitch till she had no life to utter any other word against anyone ever. As the crowd looked on too shell shocked to react, I wanted to kill her to death right then. I wish I hadn’t.