A dirty Sheet III

Please continue this. Please do. You readers don't care about anything but your comfort do you? I lost my grandfather,but , ah, what do you care? You just want your daily dose of stories. Indeed the self-centred creatures of the beggar's diaries you are. Here, have your letters.


"Sun rose early today. Disturb my daily trysts it does. Poor Christy couldn't sleep well. He is in a bad mood today. Luna had to rush away early, mid discussion. Birds just won't shut up today. Jesus had it easy, a day of pain for an eternity of bliss, it is I who has to bear you everyday, listen to you bickering everyday, going on and on about your petty troubles and in the morning too. Leave your sadness at home, don't fret over fiddling details in the morning at least. There comes the ugly woman. She drops a coin at me everyday and tries to be kind. Ah, but all the generosity of the world won't make you pretty, lady. Get away from me don't ruin my already dim morning. This crowd, this continous noise, this constant bedlam, run away from my space, run away to you ant holes, to your kennels, to your pyres and burn forever in your fury. This is an angry city, these furious times. They cry not due to their pains but due to their inability to anything about it, as do I everyday. The day was an archetypal shitty day( i use this in lieu of any suitable word). Everything was going wrong until, ha you guessed it, i know what you want to hear now, i know what your heart desires to read now, you believer of fairy tales, yes until she walked by. She threw a glance at me and quickly looked away and what a glance it was. I can't think of how many men have slept a sleepless night because of her. The face that launched a thousand ships. She was Helen, she was Cupid's mistress, she was destroyer of households. Suddenly the day grew dark and all the sun's rays lived for only one mission, to light her face, or rather she was the bestower of light. And then she was no more. Lost amidst this flood of ugly bodies, my beauty was lost. Christy, is sulking today. Luna, was hidden in her curtains of cloud too. But i don't need you all, i have my visions to give me shelter, her beauty to cradle me through lonely nights, her glance for eternity. As these eyes relinquish their right over vision, I know the fairy sleeps somewhere bereft of any remembrance of this poor soul."

P.S. My apologies for my earlier tirade. I have of late, lost all my mirth. You don't care about my personal sorrows just as i don't care about yours. Fair enough. Sleep in the memory of a beautiful vision.

Sermons

Earth is back to the same position it was last year. Calendar wise, new year. I hear people moaning the total lack of change witnessed in everything. My dear friends or acquaintances or strangers, nothing will change just because arbitrarily assigned numbers on your watch changed. What did you expect the sky to turn a rosy orange, clouds to take perfect shapes, air to smell sweet? If there's a god, he must be pretty pissed off right now. He must be wondering, "What do you want from me?".

I sometimes don't understand this world. I don't understand why are strangers to be feared, to be looked at with suspicion, why are people with lower social standing to be taken to have lesser understanding of life's nuances, why can't we just smile more often? The guy honking his car horn may just be tensed right now, maybe his some dear one is at hospital and he just wants to reach the place as early as possible. Smile at the people walking by you, you never know they might be feeling depressed and wondering if everyone hates them. Your smile can change lives. Remember seeing a child smile or laugh brightened up your day once? Return the favor to humanity. Its easy to come back to your corner and type your depression into a laptop and be praised by fellow beings for being a person of excellent skills but smile at a stranger and you might actually make someone happy. Listen to middle aged or old men rant about their lives. It makes them feel wanted, it gives them a hope that they are not actually worthless, they have not wasted all their life over nothing. It might be interesting, you may learn something. You are not so busy to have no time for other humans. I do not ask for you to give any dedicated time for humanity, just these small acts and world will be a better place for someone.

Have fun this year. Let's break some resolutions this year. Let's not just exist, let's live. :)