Woke up at 8:10 am. Brushed, washed my face. Am in my class by 8:26 am. Sit in the classroom as the professor lectures on I look at him thinking of my Counter Strike game last night, the grenade should have been thrown a little earlier. He looks at me acknowledging my mental absence from the room and teaches on. I knew he wouldn't care, they are paid to teach not make us understand.

The second lecture from 9:30 to 10:30 is off the lecturers not in the campus or maybe he is but who cares. Go to my room on the way have bought my dose of GF. Sit in my room and start engage myself with counter Strike while listening to Nirvana. After 2 many frags rest my eyes for a while using up GF's. Open my eyes and as always I am late for my class.

Run to class sit farther from the teacher and try to pass my time writing lyrics of the songs I remember or well go ahead with my open eyes sleep session. Teaching goes on and on and on. Times up and teacher leaves after the mandatory attendance session and I kinnda mess it up 'cos I didn't shout up during my roll call and after a session of interaction my attendance is accepted. Run to go out of my class room and see the next Fuhrer walking up the corridor towards the class. Run back into the class.

The earlier stanza continues including the attendance mess up. Somehow survive the class and walk to my room after collecting my clothes from Dhobi.

Sweet Child o' Mine

I never hated her, never loved her. She was more of an non-entity just like that stupid bush behind the hostel's second gate. You look at it think about it for 2 minutes and then you never think about it except in dire loneliness. Maybe the bush never guessed but it should've.

And yes, the girl wasn't dumb either, I knew she had guessed it. She might have wept in some corner about this. I did not care, I don't want to. I don't love her, how can I act as if I do. Maybe she does but what if she doesn't. Am I selfish? Yes I am but Ain't she?

Ok, she is not ugly, not bad but she is not HER. I am not perfect either but aren't we supposed to aim for it. Why should I compromise? I dont love her no matter how much she wants me to. I'll tell her but how can I? Should I leave this thought like those unsung songs wich i wanted to remember but couldn't. I dont care I'll get over it, she will have to. I am not a messiah or watever.

"I like cigarettes,Miss Taggart. I like to think of fire held in a man's hand.Fire, a dangerous force, tamed at his fingertips.I often wonder about the hours when a man sits alone, watching the smoke of a cigarette , thinking.I wonder what great things have come from such hours.When a man thinks, there is a spot of fire alive in his mind-and it is proper that he should have the burning point if a cigarette as his one expression."

ATLAS SHRUGGED- Ayn Rand

And Then I..........

I dont breath no air
I dont live no dreams
I dont die no death
I hold life at its seam

Nothing is true
Nothing but you

May be i fool myself
Maybe you do

I would do anything for love
I will beg in front of you
I will do anyhting for you,love
I dont want to beg in front of you

I dont shed no tears
I dont have no fears

Its a one big book
We just dont know where to look

Maybe you did
Maybe u didnt try
May be you hid
May be i did

I dont live no lies
I dont care if i die

Tell me its true
Tell me its you

Let me go away
Let me find a way
I dont care no more
I have closed the door





 

To LIVE is To DIE

These are the pale deaths
which men miscall their lives:
for all the scents of green things growing,
each breath is but an exhalation of the grave.
Bodies jerk like puppet corpses,
and hell walks laughing.


This poem is from 'Lord Foul's Bane, Book One' of the series "The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever" by Stephen R. Donaldson.

The first two lines were used in Metallica's song 'To Live Is To Die'.


Lived a hundred dreams now is it sad if I die 4 one

I am not

And I am not frightened of dying
Any time will do, I don't mind
Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it
You've gotta go sometime
I never said I was frightened of dying






The Great Gig In the Sky By your daddy PINK FLOYD

Atlas Shrugged

Was reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand hence didn't post anything.

Here's an excerpt from a speech by one of the main protagonists of the book.



"So you think that money is the root of all evil?" said Francisco d'Anconia. "Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can't exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that men who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears, or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the men who produce. Is this what you consider evil?

Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires. Money is the scourge of the men who attempt to reverse the law of causality,the men who seek to replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind.

Money will not serve the mind that cannot match it. Is this the reason why you call it evil?

Or did you say it's the love of money that's the root of all evil? To love a thing is to know and love its nature. To love money is to know and love the fact that money is the creation of the best power within you, and your passkey to trade your effort for the effort of the best among men. It's the person who would sell his soul for a nickel, who is loudest in proclaiming his hatred of money and he has good reason to hate it. The lovers of money are willing to work for it. They know they are able to deserve it.

So long as production was ruled by force, and wealth was obtained by conquest, there was little to conquer, Yet through all the centuries of stagnation and starvation, men exalted the looters, as aristocrats of the sword, as aristocrats of birth, as aristocrats of the bureau, and despised the producers, as slaves, as traders, as shopkeepers as industrialists.

Hi! Just finished Short Stories by Guy De Maupassant. Gr8 stories.


Is having lead a traumatic childhood reason enough for odd and cruel behavior? Can a person who has been ill treated during his childhood allowed to conduct himself on the same manner.


I point towards Ivan, The Terrible for reference.




He was well not brought up in the best of conditions but was the way he conducted himself during his reign excused because of his earlier experiences?


Is a person who has some bad experiences during his earlier days allowed to kill or ,well, be cruel?


Favor:
Me and you do not know what effect an abused childhood leaves on a person. We'll never know what changes it brings in the grey cells of top floor. Having had a comparatively decent childhood what right do we have to judge those unfortunate beings. They do not want to its just that they cant help it. The have seen things, felt those emotions that just cant be explained by law. They didn't want to be this way but destiny was too stubborn a master to change her decisions. We'll never feel that pain that they did. Neither do I and most probably you want to do so.


Against:
Time heals .
If you want it to. It's all about changing your destiny. So what if you had a troublesome childhood but it was no way the fault of those innocent people on whom you vent your Dark emotions. Change is the way life is led. Time was bad make it good for yourself as well as for others. Being bad just won't help maybe doing good will. You were not treated good. Treat others good. They'll give you the love you craved for all your life. I am not a preacher just a human that's the way I want people to live their life helping someone (well a little bit of malice is not that bad).

Do give your comments and recommend me a gud book.

I will never bother you
I will never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never speak a word again
I will crawl away for good
.
.
.
.
.
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail


Last line modified by me originally it's

'I have never felt so well'

Am I depressed??
No nothing just leave me alone for a while. Think will grow out of it.


Times have changed The times are strange
Here I come but I ain't the same

Remember time changes everyone tell your friends this before they start accusing you of changing.

Wish I had.