Back and Forth

I wasn't always like this,
my days lost i miss.
Let the memories come again,
let my eyes still rain.
The days fly by so fast,
i never realized my present would be my past.
I know you listen to none,
i know this cant be done.
I know you won't stop, alas,
I don't want this time to pass.
The rain drops wet me so,
pleading me to let my past go.
But how can i just let it be,
when i have never been me.

Yesterday i dreamt of my past,
and today i regret my yesterday.
Waiting for some miracle,
shall never unbound you of your shackles.
Stand up, stand up tall,
stand up what even if you fall.
For mistakes are due,
even if they are not few.
They tried to stop me at every step,
they tried to break my will.
I kept walking
and keep walking i will.

With Love, Me

Never forget......shed a tear when needed but cherish the memories. don't let the tears wash away your past.... the thoughts u shared, the dreams u saw, the lives u led, they'll stay. people may part but friends don't..... How i wish it was all the same...nothing changing... sadness is not the answer to the grief..... don't cry oh plz don't cry tonight...u know i am there waiting for u thinking about u.... i would have been with you but life is not all that we want..... i luv u no matter how far we are ....no matter how many years pass.....I'll always will be there right beside you....hope u trust me.... hope u still believe in the dreams we saw......the world that was ours..... the loves not lost ...it might be separated but the separation has given it a new meaning......dont cry tonight....it hurts to know i could have been better but then i hope u know i tried..........time passes on memory fades away but the feelings, the dreams dont let them pass....... remind urself of every dream u did dream as a child and live it..... remember what u disliked in those days....try not be like the ogre of ur childhood....not the fairy i now but the kind, nice, cheerful being u are.... time flies by and we cant clip its wings like an eagle it soars free over all the place never under anyones control everyone bows down to it...it flew over the deep black forest....the mighty oceans....the twinkling rivers........the huge part white part green part rocky mountains that stand guard of land unknown..... it bows down to none ....hope u don't either...... wish i could ask the eagle to halt but alas i am a mere being..... the world is not what it looked like to you but u can still dream, you can still see the good..... who knows there might be more good than u ever dreamt about...life is strange and beautiful..... memories are a strange thing they keep the pain alive but when the doors to good time open up, the world it helps us reach....the times passed by, we wish it could have waited........ make most of the moment.....moment passes by so do friends and so does life.....what is today may not be tomorrow.... and also remember tomorrow may not be yesterday it might be better......and remember i miss you and i miss you so bad.....but move on......cherish me but live life the way i would have wished for you......i hate tears ....i could never control them and the make this page so wet.....sorry for the blotches this watery stuff pouring like waterfall dont abide by any laws....... i ask u to not cry and cant even make myself stop from it....... u know i was never good at words......you were and how i miss ur lucid poems the fantasies the unbounded lands the quiet river...... u dreamt big and made me see it too..... i thank you for that and want you to know it'll never be the same...... everything will change but our friendship shall stand the test of time........ plz dont cry tonight for if u do i shall cry with you......

Omg A Happy 0n3!!!! :))

And I may not be the world's most passionate guy,
But when i saw in her eyes i was fuzzing around like Jeri Cola.....

Sometimes you feel alone, sometimes you want to be left alone, sometimes you wish you didn't feel so much, times change, moods change, wait and it all gets right. Life always has a happy ending. You'll make it alright, life goes on and so shall you.... The punishment sometimes does not seems to fit the crime but keep walking and in the end u shall shine....what a blooper of a line...me scx :)....G00d m00d are real g00d...wish we all had more of them....sumtimes everything seems to go right, the sun peeks out of the clouds, breeze messes ur hair and all u can do is smile helplessly, things come ur way...wish the day lasts long enuf to be written down in a notebook...days lasts long...night waits and with it comes the sigh...the sigh of remembrance of a new dream that was the day gone....Sweet Home Alabama rocks.....specially when u sit with ur friends and shout the chorus....

BTW re-read 1984...read Thousand Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez - 2 much hype, first 3/4 is good...last quarter starts stinks of repetition......read Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris...not up to expectations but ten i expected 2 much....gud read once....

Confessions Of a Passer-By

There was a certain urgency in his manners. He didn't walk neither did he run, he moved in a manner I have never seen anyone move before, but then i hadn't seen a man who knew he would die 4 days later. Alas, modern science, the sweet poison. According to some formula, Poisson's probably, the modern oracles had calculated the moment of his death down to the last minute, a few days in advance. Obviously there was no cure, there's always no cure when you want one so desperately. It's easy to solve formula's, difficult to find a cure. So, from that day onwards he had acquired a manner so different, so strange that left me exasperated due to my inability to understand it.

To wish to see an eternity in 4 days is what fools strive for. Urgency and the looming shadow of death over him had made him a fool. A fool so sad had never been seen before. A fool so sad i didn't wish to see again. Life is strange, me with unknown days to live wasted it around foolishly. What assurance i had that i wouldn't die before him. Who knew i would live to see this day? Stupid medicine men don't know when to keep their mouth shut, they had to boast about the technological advances they had acquired recently from some other nation.

Alas, i have strayed a lot from my narrative too early. He stopped suddenly outside a building, waited. i watched him from the other side of the road, he wished to be left alone at that moment. Few minutes passed, suddenly he moved towards the entrance of the building. Stopped this ordinary looking girl and said something to her. He looked in her eyes, her hazel wet eyes stared at the floor. He kept on the monologue and for a moment she looked up at him, her eyes begging him to stop. And as if in a dream she ran inside the building leaving him standing all alone at the door. He had tears in his eyes too, but that was a common sight for me nowadays. He was not the hero of a bollywood movie he cried a lot, actually his eyes were forever moist ever since the medical debacle. Stupid girl hadn't realized not everyone had a lifetime to think matters over and live happily ever after. he loved her and had said so. She didn't and had run away. Life's mean , it likes playing games with you. He was losing and boy, he was losing fast. He was a goner ever since medi-kids had announced his departure after the sudden bout of sickness few days ago. I was his room mate and had traveled with him just in case he fell sick again. He had been quite ordinary actually,not a wiz-kid, not a rich man's son and certainly no hot shot in any manner. That's what i had always appreciated in him, he was no genius and he knew that, above all he didn't strive to be something he wasn't. Fear of the Reaper had changed him, he tried to do things he had only dreamt of before. This change had made him a stranger to me. He was not despondent, but it was his helplessness that killed me. One night he had woken me up and asked "What wrong did I do? Did i ever hurt u? Did i strive to take someone Else's position from him? A man waiting in the gallows for his death sentence at least has a reason to die for, what do i have? Lived a life so long without a reason to live and now I die with none." I was shocked,he hadn't spoken to me in this manner about this topic. I didn't talk about it to prevent reminding him, but had forgotten he couldn't get the truth out of his head.

All his life he had done what ever he wanted. He had done nothing of great value to the world. He loved a few girls but hadn't mentioned about his feelings to them. He was good in mathematics but then he didn't work hard on it. He had done what he liked, this sudden weakness crushed him. Killing him every moment.Yesterday, he died.

>>>>Shut da F*(< up<<<<

Nobody care's
Nobody acts as if they do
The light's forever gone
We stand in the dark
me and you
The feeling's pain
the feeling's my life's drain
i am no longer me
i'm one of the Society
i'm now WE
No words to pray
No songs to say
i stand alone in the Crowd
Lone & proud
Have to kill the i in me
to be one of Them
no one wants to know
about the sadness the shame

Growin Up

There comes a time in your life when your friend circle stops growing. You don't want to discover new friends, not because you don't want new friends but because you don't want to get hurt in this process. There comes a time in everyone's life when he/she grows up. Instead of the usual brilliant glimmer in our imagination a general melancholy creeps in. Sadness is the rule of the day.

You wish u could stop those clocks, stay a moment more but alas time moves on. You and your friends separate from each other. You wish you were an innocent child again for a day, just for a day u beg, but then we immortals can't be beggars leave alone choosers. One lonely night you wake up long enough to actually remember those days. Feel sad but can't for long, have to sleep, routine begins tomorrow morning.

Meet one of your school friends on thee street. For a fleeting moment u feel you aren't grown up yet. U aren't completely devoid of childishness yet. Life has changed ur friend too. You talk about those days but in your hearts u slowly realize it ain't the same now.

Grow up ,everyone has to.

The Meek One

The pity of it is that it was sheer accident- an ordinary cruel and senseless accident. Thats the pity of it! Five minutes, I was just five minutes late! Had I come back five minutes earlier, that moment would have flashed past like a cloud, never to enter her head again. And it would have all ended in her understanding everything. But now there are empty rooms again, and I all alone. There's the pendulum swinging and clicking without the the least concern or pity for anything. There's no one- that's the misery of it!





Oh, nature! People are alone on this planet, thats the trouble! "Is there a living soul in this field?" cries the hero of a Russian legend. Though no legendary hero, I make the same call, but no one responds. They say the sun gives life to the universe. But the sun rises and- look -isn't it dead? Everything is dead, the dead lie everywhere! Just solitary people, and all about- silence. That's the kind of world we live in. "People, love one another" -who said that? Whose commandment is it? The pendulum is clicking unfeelingly, horridly. It's two in the morning. Her shoes are standing beside her bed, as though waiting for her... Now, they'll take her away tomorrow, and I shall wait here all alone??

Excerpts from a short story (or novella perhaps) by Feodor Dostoevsky.

Champage Supernova....

Someone once told me "Never Generalize". Don't group people based on their sex, color, ethnicity. There's always a variety of people out there who may be part of some sect but are not really the same as others. By grouping them you do injustice to them. Just because a person belongs to so and so community by no way means that he is the way u suspect others to be....

I hate such kindda preachin stuff....The first line was enuf but the speech after that seems as if u are questioning my ability to understand simple lines....When you belive sumthing from your heart it's a common practice to elucidate on that matter but to go on and on sickens me....Speak the synopsis of what you feel and then gimme a break...

Blogger doest open up in my college...so well didn't update this Blog..If sum one ever checked it and found some cobwebs here...sorry for them..hope for more updates soon...

Roll Another joint..

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels, to be me.

So let's get to the point
Let's roll, another joint
Let's head on down the road
There's somewhere I gotta go
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels, to be me

-Tom Petty (You Don't Know How it Feels)